Pain, Awareness, Illness and just getting by

I have been in a lot of pain the past few days and not exactly sure what is causing it.
I suspect my coughing has pulled another muscle and while that sounds rough, it has become my normal the past couple of years.

I cannot bring myself to watch the nightly news, so we watch network tv shows, or shows on justice or escape to escape our reality for a little while.

I plan to work on my crochet projects every night so if you are waiting on an order, please be patient. I should be caught up by Halloween.

Lately, I get off work, drive straight home and go to bed and then get up when hubby gets home from work, watch a bit of tv together and then by 10 or 11, I am back in bed.

With Sleep Apnea and no mask/machine, I never really get true rest, So I am constantly tired.
Add my wheezing/coughing of COPD to that and I have zero energy by the time the day is over.
I am not lazy by any means, I just don't have the umph to get the things done that I used to.

All of this makes me very sad.

The worst part is if I have chest pains and suspect it is not a pulled muscle, I have to make a decision to go to the ER and hope the bill doesn't bankrupt my household.

There is nothing wrong with my attitude, I simply feel horrible and weak inside and until I get a C-PAP machine, this will just be the way I am.

I walked through wal-mart this morning and got to my car and just sat there to get my breathing back under control. Yes, that wore me out!

I don't want your pity, I want your understanding.

 If I call or message you and ask if you want to go somewhere with me, that means I consider you a safe person to be with if I have bad coughing spells or get sick while I am out. I have very few local people that are willing to go do things with me. I guess I have embarrassed them over the years and now they just ignore my calls.