This week, the news has been filled with the news of 2 suicides of famous people. One was a famous designer and the other a famous chef/author. From our perspectives, they had everything and we wonder why would they do such a thing.
Robin Williams committed suicide a few years ago after spending his life making the world laugh from comedy shows, USO tours and all his movies.
No one really knows what goes on inside the mind of another.
Let me take you back to November of 2010.
A married woman with grown children that were living in Utah and Knoxville, TN was unemployed, fighting with her husband for attention constantly, knew he was cheating on her with at least one person that lived in Clarksville and she felt very alone.
She grew up in the church (COC to be exact) and knew her Bible verses, however, the depression was beating her up and telling her she was worthless, unwanted and in the way. She was on medication and she was dealing with anxiety/panic attacks and other health problems at this time. She had even stopped sharing her direct sales business with friends and family.
One early November morning, she did the dishes after her spouse went off to work and called to ask him a question and he cut her off saying he was going to Clarksville that night. She argued, she begged him not to go see "J" again. He hung up on her. She cried and then she prayed asking the Lord to just take her home.
She called both her kids and told her she loved them so much and to never forget that and that she tried to the best she could. She called a dear friend in East TN and told her thank you for being her true friend in those very dark times. Then she got her spouse's pistol out of the dresser drawer and went to the car. By this time, her phone was ringing in her hand, her kids were calling, her friend was calling and unbeknownst to her, her friend in East TN had called the Nashville police to do a welfare check on her friend. Her son was also calling her husband asking why mom was so sad.
She put that pistol to her temple twice and had her finger on the trigger while tears were pouring down her face and she was begging God to just take her home. Then her spouse calls and for some reason she answers his call when he certainly didn't deserve it and he said he was on his way home and the police had been called.
She has a tight grip on that pistol, and as she sees the police cruiser and the apartment managers walking towards her, she puts down the pistol, holds her phone like a talisman and gets out of the car and calmly looks at the police officer knowing they were looking for her. She tells them she is not going anywhere until her spouse arrives and very shortly after, he arrives. The police return the pistol to her spouse and then the police talk to her for a while before she is put in the police cruiser (no cuffs) and her spouse follows them to the mental health center.
The police officer tries to engage her in talking about family and tells her he is sure her children still need her and she says, "No, they are grown, it is time for me to go".
By nightfall, she is admitted to a local psych ward for evaluation and they fix all of her meds and the counselors and staff help her get her mind back on track. It took years for her to get over all of the pain and hurt inflicted on her in this dark time of her life.
She finally filed for divorce in 2013 and started moving forward again.
This woman in this story is ME! I almost killed myself, so I can completely understand how those that seem to have it all would want to end it. I had very little to my name and I was hurting so bad, I wanted to die.
You never know what someone else is going through unless you are brave enough to push and to ask the tough questions.
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