Rinse, Lather, Repeat...

No, this is not about washing your hair... I just thought it sounded more original than groundhog day.

Anyway, Another Friday is upon us. Some are tickled it is the last day of the work week, some are not impressed because they work all weekend, and some are so depressed they don't even look at the calendar anymore because every day is harder than the one before.

This is also superbowl weekend and I know many of you know that without me telling you. Some will watch the game and prepare snacks for friends to come over; some will have the game on but only pay attention to the commercials and some will watch netflix to avoid the football game altogether.  We will probably have the game on and this house is rooting for the Eagles to win.

There is laundry to be done, dishes to be done and floors to be swept. There is also crocheting to be done and that makes me so much happier these days. The only thing that makes me happier is spending time with a friend or getting to see my grandsons.

You are in charge of how you take on the day and how you spend it. No one else has that power unless you give it to them.  I learned this the hard way in my 2nd marriage to a man that loved playing head games and keeping me under his control. He wanted to know where I was every minute so he could go play house with the girl of the week/month. He is no prize and with stripes that deep, he won't change (you have been warned multiple times!!)

Do yourself a favor and be nice to yourself. Self-talk - we all do it, we get mad at something we did wrong and internally we beat ourselves up for it. This feeds depression, anxiety and just makes everything worse.

 I am no pollyanna, in fact, I am pretty pessimistic of late. I pray every day and I thank the good Lord for what we do have, but I am realistic and know that things are tough right now and it is my fault. That is very hard to deal with a heavy load on my mind and shoulders.

I have been told to stand tall, keep that smile on my face and just keep going. All of these things are very hard to do when you are curled up in the fetal position afraid to try again. Don't push me, because I will push back and these days, I just may bite (like that old groundhog), just leave me alone and give me some space.

My word for 2018 was confidence and yet mine has been shattered. My mentor unknowingly has replanted the words never give up in my psyche and for that I am thankful. Just don't know if I am up to letting her in that far to the way my mind works.

As you can tell (if you read this far), I am all over the place today and things are hitting me like waves on the beach. So I will end for the day. Be kind to one another, check on those you care about and always, always tell people how you truly feel. We are not promised tomorrow or the next day.