49 years

Hello there!
Today is my birthday.
As of 9:06 am today, I am officially 49 years old.

Some days I feel every moment of that 49 years, sometimes I feel older and sometimes I feel a bit younger.

I am pretty proud of myself, I had several things on my 'want to do' list for this past weekend and I accomplished all but one of them.

Life gets in the way and we allow time to pass and wonder if we can really go back and visit and if the people in that place will be there or how they will treat us.  Covenant Church has always been home to me as far as churches go in the recent years of my life.  That church, the pastor, and the families there have always been a welcoming sight to me and helped soothe my soul when I was hurting so badly.

Sunday I pushed fear aside and went over to Attend services at Covenant Church and was met with hugs and how are you from many people. The lesson was on faith and the music and the friendship was great as always.

I want to be at peace at home and have things back to normal. I know God is working it all out and the kids will have their own place soon. I am choosing faith, prayer and worship to get me through all of the chaos and when I feel out of control or overwhelmed in life and work.

I am choosing to lean in to my faith to get through all of this and also speaking my mind more than usual to let people know exactly what is going on.

I often just keep quiet to let peace reign, but I have learned recently that no information is passed that way. So I have to get my courage up and speak my mind and tell someone how I feel to get my message across or to achieve what I want to get done at this time.

I do not crave to be center stage, I am often in the background and I am often ignored and passed over as well. Learning to speak up is difficult for me.

In all of these times and days and hours, I am learning to lean on God to get me through and let him fight my battles when I have done all I can do. I hate the times when my hands are tied and I truly can change nothing, but that is when God works his miracles. I have seen a few over the years and months of my life. I know God is in control.

Happy Birthday to me. I hope you each have a grand day and make the most of it.  When you get sad and overwhelmed, I suggest going to your car for a break and praising the Lord, thanking the Lord and worshiping the Lord for all you have and you will feel better as it changes your perspective.

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