Drowning

 I am drowning

Sadness

Chronic Pain

Constant Congestion

Constant worry about children, grandchildren, sisters, brothers and friends across the country and world. 

Disappointment

I want to get in the car and drive away, but I have no where to go. 

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I sleep to cope and escape the daily reality.

I pray daily for answers and direction.

I have a good husband! He is a good provider and I hide my depression and bad moods from him fairly well. He doesn't have any idea that I cry myself to sleep at least 3 nights a week. He deserves so much more than I can provide. 2 days ago was our 3 year anniversary and I am still mad at myself for not being good enough for him. 

My hopeful moments come from listening to praise/worship music and devotionals. 

I am still here, just a shell of who I used to be. How Can I yearn to be heard yet at the same time, I pray nightly for God to just take me home because I am tired of hurting every day??